If someone asked me what I’ve accomplished in my adult life thus far, I’d be able to riddle off multiple things. I’d probably say something along the lines of, “I’ve worked long hours, spent time in college classrooms, added business owner to my resume, and devoted a lot of time, energy, and emotion into my family.” The latter holding the most, if not the only, significance, of course. Kind of sad, really.
The last few years have brought forth some very interesting chapters in the book that is my life. It’s become very apparent that certain events have shaped me in ways I couldn’t fully comprehend until now. Two chapters, involving two different people, and two sets of circumstances, being the most notable. Both produced the same questions, thoughts, and feelings.
In these chapters, long days would give way to even longer nights, and they all started to blend together after a while. Eventually my memory started to fade, and before I knew it, I couldn’t recall our last interactions. The clothes they were wearing, the look on their faces, the exchange of words – all lost. The only thing I was certain of is that they were gone, nowhere to be found. When that happens, months might as well be years, because it all feels the same.
If the phone rang late at night, would it be someone calling to say he’s turned up, face down, in an alley somewhere – an overdose, bad debt, deal gone wrong? Maybe it would be to say that they’ve found what’s left of her in a dumpster in some far away state, on the other side of the country? Dreams would only further these thoughts.
Was he in the same zip code, or she in the same time zone? Did either have a place to lay their head at night? Were they hungry, happy, sad, safe? Everything was given a new meaning. Checking the weather forecast was no longer for making weekend plans, it was cause for concern. If it applied, did they have a jacket to keep them warm or shoes with soles still intact? They both knew they had a home to return to, and a family that loved them.
Thankfully, with time, they would both resurface. But they were not the same, of course. And now I can see that neither was I; those events changed everyone involved, in more ways than one.
It’s so easy to get sidetracked by things that simply don’t matter. Maybe we need certain events to put things in perspective, even if the process takes a while?
